SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
