try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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