you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
