Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
