so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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