I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
