One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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