Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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