Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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