I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize