Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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