i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize