youre lurking in front of me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
