Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize