So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
