im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
