genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
be right there i have to get my cape
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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