real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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