i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
