Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
this boner is exhausting
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize