So drunk its hurt
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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