Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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