i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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