i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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