for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
