your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
