Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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