Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
