Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize