I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
