You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
