You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
