When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
