I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
