Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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