remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
