hotel room ftw
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize