You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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