we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize