I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she looked like the before picture.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize