We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
