yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
