I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
