You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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