I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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