make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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