guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
