The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Two words: nipple clamps
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