it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
