We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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