there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
