when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
