his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have aggressive nipples.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
